Let him go
by Gabriela Dias
Summary: DimplesQueen/OutlawQueen story, set after Robin's funeral. Angst ahead. It was supposed to be just an one shot, but the original author is writing more.
1. Chapter 1

**This one shot was originally written in portuguese, but I thought it was so good that more people deserved to read, not only those who speaks in portuguese. I asked the author if I could translate it and she allowed me to. Thank you soooo much Luh! The link of the original one shot will be in the end.**

 **This is a DimplesQueen one shot, before the funeral. I must warn you, is VERY, very, extremely angst. As usual I wanted to see something like that on the show but I don't think we will be that lucky.**

 **The song bellow is the song the original author suggested for you to listen while you're reading :D**

 **Happy reading and please tell me your thoughts!**

* * *

 **Photograph – Ed Sheeran**

"Gina..." Roland climbed, with difficulty, in the high bed of the mayor.

"Hey…" Regina wiped her face quickly sniffled a little bit as she tried to contain her incessant crying. "Come here..." she opened her arms and the little boy was soon stucked in a tight embrace, turning his back and tucked away.

"I miss Papa" whimpered softly.

The mayor pursed her lips tightly trying to control her tears and folded her fingers on Roland's black strands.

"I miss him too..." she let out embargoed and kissed the top of the little Hood.

"I'll never see Papa again?" Roland turned his face and, with wet eyes, he let it form a pout crying while looking for comfort in the almonds so swelled of the mayor.

"When you want to see him..." Regina took a deep breath and smoothed his small face. "Just close your eyes and we can feel Papa's tight hug." she gave him a brief smile. "He'll always be with us, Roland. And we'll be with him..." she reached down and stroked the middle of the little boy's chest. "Right here..."

"You'll leave too?"

A chest that was bleeding with every beat and darkening every second that remained alive. Roland, orphan of father and mother. Cruel the way life plays with everyone. The almonds stared at little Roland's chocolate ones, she wanted to say everything was going to be ok put the child away from all the pain gnawed in his chest. But who was Regina? And what good she could do when the darkness was already showing signs again?

"Promise me that no matter what happens, you'll be good." the little boy frowned, his expression closing and scratched the top of his lips while he stared at the mayor who seemd likely to collapse at any moment "Promise me you will be strong and always remember that your father loved you very much, that I love you very much and we want you to be a little boy of honor?" her voice was trembling even with every word.

"Gina..."

"Promise?" he affirmed quickly with his little head. Regina smiled sweetly and wiped the tears that had felled from his eyes. "And what you'll be?" she said with even more difficulty.

"I'll be good Mama..." the almonds eyes widened and her chest flooded in an absurd pain, she wanted to cry, she wanted to never leave the comfort of her bed and put the boy away from the darkness she was in. "I'll be of honor Mama, and good." Regina felt her eyes burning, her heartbeats increasing even more. She could see Robin on little Roland's traits, and the smile the opened, she collapsed. She hugged him tight. "Don't go Mama…"

"You have to go home, Roland." he shocked his little head in denial and squeezed the mayor even more, now, hugging her front. "Where Papa's presence will be strong, where his scent will be present..."

"No Mama, no..." hugging her and the brunette felt her chest cutting and crying out as she smoothed and hugged him.

"Waking up with the singing of birds, the wind of the trees... There is your home Roland, as your father's, your place is in the forest little Hood."

The little one sobbed and pulled away from Regina, looking her straight in the eyes and placing a hand on her face.

"Come home with me Mama..." Regina hid her lips, feeling the tears coming down and propped her lips on the boy's forehead.

* * *

 **"I'm with you... Always."**

 **Link to the original story:**

 **https-:/socialspirit.-com.-br/fanfics/historia/fanfiction-once-upon-a-time-always-5579145/capitulo1**

 **I had to add - or also the ff would delete the link. Please remove the - in other to check the link if you want to. In case you have trouble checking the link please contact me on twitter and I'll help you. I hope you liked (and cried) as much as I did haha. Please leave a review or talk to me on twitter, I'm inlovewithlanap there!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Note of the original author:** You guys asked so much that I'll continue this story, but know that it won't be long. The reason? I don't have strength :( I'm trying to feel better as much as possible, and everytime I have to think in this story, it's like they shattered my chest and reality invaded uninvited, yelling: IT'S OVER, LUISA! You know Robin? He died. The chance to see them together? Died. But it 's precisely this pain that makes me want to write, to give something more than worthy for our Outlaw Queen! Regina had a history with Roland, with Robin and we were denied to see it, so yes, I'll write. I will make clear in the next chapters a possible reality that happened between them. I accept suggestions, criticism and everything to kill some of the pain they left in us. And the Regina we know dearly, that they describe a lot with her heart, even though it has its darkness, that believes and strives, how would it be her relationship with Roland, the little piece of the man she truly loved? It may hurt, but today, what doesn't hurt?

Chapter 2 - Use mine for both of us.

 **Bleeding Out Imagine Dragons**

 _But I promise you, I'll get it back. Robin said as soon as Regina approached the fire._

 _The mayor was never one to hear what her heart screamed in her chest, always gave voice to anger, stupid reason, to revenge yearnings and, after her heart broke with Daniel's death, never allowed to open up her heart so love could make a part of it again. But Robin had something escaped her control, it was not just because he helps and demonstrate full support to her, it had more, perhaps, the way he looked at her, the way she felt his heart race whenever he was in the presence of the Queen; and the way she felt totally unprepared, unarmed when he stared at her with steady blue eyes, intrigued her._

 _Regina Mills, the so feared for so long saw herself with no outlet, for the first time in years, allowed herself to listen the voice that screamed for love and a new chance at happiness. Regina, the woman that carried the mystery in her eyes, reacted. She grabbed Robin Hood's coat and brought him closer, their lips crashing with form and intensity, sealed a love that until then was unknown such intensity. They looked at each other enraptured. It was real? Why so many questions? Robin pulled her to him and fit his lips to the reddened lips of his mayor, kissing her and leaving their bodies burning more than the fire besides them._

 _Crackle of wood burning, the touches in search for more, to become one. The archer's hands pervaded on her nape, shuffled her black strands and made her shiver with the slightest touch. Soft, inviting lips were asking for more of Robin Hood and he gave in, he gave all he had for her, only her._

 _"Uhmm" Regina pulled back, feeling the blush on her cheeks as she looked to the thief in front of her and give a small smile as she felt the man's fingers cares her cheeks._

 _"No... stay more." Robin pressed a little more the mayor on his embrace and sealed, again, their lips. "Don't go now."_

A shaky breath left Regina as soon as she awaked. Once she opened her eyes she felt the tears coming down unhindered, like a good morning that reminded her everything that happened the day before. The forest smell invaded her nostrils and she looked to the side, watching Roland lying by her side. The little one was sleeping on his stomach, his hair thrown in the pillow, his little face swollen from the tears he restrained till he fell asleep; he used a pajama with arrow drawings that Regina had given him. His little chest rose and fell heavily, as if he cried in his sleep, quietly.

Regina got up, gingerly, covering over little Roland and walking out of the room in light steps. Upon arriving at the hall she let out a long breath, wiped her face and shook her head the stupidity of having been good. She went to Henry's room and remembered that the boy preferred to spend the night with Emma and she let out another sigh.

"Momma!" Heard Roland's voice echoing through the house in despair.

"Momma! Mommaaaa!" He scremed and she could notice the little one was crying.

Regina ran to her room, entering at once and saw him sitting on the bed, holding tight the blanket and crying heavily.

"I'm here..." She ran to the boy, kissing his head and wrapping him in her arms. "I'm here..."

"I thought..." Sobbed trying to calm his little heart.

 _ **When the sky turns grey. And everything is screaming. I will reach inside. Just to find my heart is beating. Oh, you tell me to hold. But innocence is gone. And what was right is wrong.**_

Regina sighed deeply and squinted, as she brought Roland to her lap and snuggled him into her chest, They say a hug is able to make changes in the chemical functioning of the body and provide benefits. Hearts meets in unison beats, stress is slowly replaced with love and calmness. The pain they were in not decreased with comfort, but the crisis and the desire to let instincts take over, yes, these were controlled.

"Are you hungry?" Regina whispered and Roland shook his head. "I know I'm not so good with pancakes as your Papa, but I can try, what do you say? I'll put chocolate in it..." Roland, without disentangling from the mayor's arms nodded, making her smile.. "Great. Come with me then..." the little one, the same way he was he stayed and Regina crawled in bed, hooking his legs around her waist. "Wow! You're too big and heavy."

Children grow and show you how times goes fast. Are almost three years next to Robin, or were... Now time doesn't matter, it's all over. Darkness is so comforting, a safe place to keep the love that lives and scream inside the brunette's chest.

 _ **Cause I'm bleeding out. So if the last thing that I do. Is to bring you down. I'll bleed out for you.**_

The guilty of wronging badly the man she loved, of making a decision that it was not her place to make. The guilty of giving Robin's daughter and he dying while trying to get her back. Regina was hurting with every thought in guilt, knowing that if she had heard her thief, things wouldn't be the way they were.

 ** _So I peel my skin. And I count my sins. And I close my eyes and I take it in. I'm bleeding out. I'm bleeding out for you. For you._**

"Momma, you said that when I miss Papa all I have to do is close my eyes, right?" Regina looked back and nodded, giving a brief smile and returning to mix the pancake that was in the stove. "It's not working."

Regina took a deep breath, didn't know from where she took strength to get up, to smile, to do what she had to do when she was with Roland. But looking at the boy cowering in his seat, with his hand propping up his crumpled face, the sad and distant look, cut her soul and made her feel even more guilty. She served the plate with pancake and chocolate and put it in front of him, giving a kiss on his forehead and looking into his eyes.

"Try to eat a little, I'll go get something in my bedroom and I'll be right back." Roland held Regina's hand, scared and afraid. "I'll be back Roland, count to 10 and I'll be back, okay?"

"One, two..."

Regina ran, opened the drawer of her dresser and took the book. "The Adventures of Robin Hood.". A small smile appeared on her face and she took a deep breath as she smoothed the cover. She went upstairs and Roland was already in "...nine."

"I arrived in time, you see" Regina smiled and Roland reciprocated.

"What is it?"

"Your father's history in a book."

"Wow! All of it?" Regina sat next to him and sighed deeply. She would read for him, for Robin, but also for herself. Perhaps it was a way to let him alive in her chest. "Can you read it to me?"

"Not all of it, just a part, a tale, not exactly his story..." Roland didn't seem to care and put one foot upon the chair and propped his face in the mayor's arm, as he looked at the book. Regina looked at him by the corner of her eyes and smiled sweetle. "One upon a time..."

 ** _↔ In memorian of Robin Hood ↔_**

 **Sad Song – We the Kings**

"Robin Hood, died as he had lived, not in the court as Earl of Huntingdon, but with a bow in his hand, with his heart in the "Enchanted Forest", and himself a yeoman." Regina took a deep breath, closing the book, not wanting to read more. Her eyes were shining with tears, a glow she didn't want Roland to see.

"But Papa was holding a bow?" Roland asked.

"Yes, Roland, your Papa went in honor, with a bow in his hand. "Regina looked away quickly when she felt a tear run. "He was a hero..."

"Papa spoke of my little sister." the little boy raised his head and looked at Regina. "She'll go home too?"

"She..." Regina looked at him and took a deep breath. "Robin, as your sister calls, will stay with Zelena, little boy."

"But..." he frowned "I'll stay away from you and my little sister? Why can't you come with me?"

"Oh sweetheart..." Regina run a hand from his hair to his little face and tucked away some strands of his hair that was in front of his teary eyes. "As I explained, your home is with the sound of the winds, with that wet leaf smell, of wet earth, timber trees... Now..." Regina ran his fingers on his face, wiping the tears she found there. "Little John will take you back home, him and all your family, your father's family."

"But he used to say you were family too." Roland wrapped his arms around Regina's waist and squinted. "He said he loved you and that I was supposed to protect you." Regina held her breath when she heard and felt Roland, slowly involving him in return.

"He..." She let out a breath, feeling her eyes water, as usual. "He said that?" The little boy nodded. "He said he loved me?"

Not that she didn't know, not that she doubted Robin's love, but both of them, with all the hurt they've been through, they were always afraid of making the love palpable, making it suitable for destruction since after saying these three words he - love, probably would be much more accessible. Fear of love. Fear of giving in, of getting hurt and hear "I don't love you anymore." If that exists. The fear of losing someone you love.

Love... There are so many ways you can find it. So many ways he manifests. But if one day you tell someone you truly love them, or feel that way, it's impossible not to love them forever. The love can change from romantic to fraternal, intense to mild, sometimes, going to the thin line of hate, but the love doesn't end, it's not destroyed. Love remains alive forever.

Love. Robin loved her. And she loved him, in every breath, in every drop of saline water coming out of her eyes. A stupid fear to utter strong words, fear of even hear them came to her by a child who had the same smell of his father, causing her heart go unstable, her mouth dry and the youthful feel to know that it was, truly, mutual. Nonsense all the sentimentalism, since she learned how good it was the feeling of hearing the dreaded "I love you" when Robin was dead.

"I love you too..." whispered almost silently, almost not hearing her own voice.

"Momma..." Roland looked at her, propping his chin on her chest. "When you come visit me, I'll let you sleep with my pillow." Regina felt tears in her eyes again and kissed his little forehead.

"You'll let me sleep in your bed too?" Roland nodded quickly.

 ** _↔ In memorian of Robin Hood ↔_**

 _"What do you see in me?" Regina parted their lips and looked in the eyes of her thief._

 _"Hopefully the same thing you see in me." he stared at her warmly. "A second chance."_

"Regina..." Emma's voice made the brunette scream inside and at the feel of her touch on her shoulder, dodged immediately. The blonde took her hand back to herself and closed her fingers, apologizing for having caused even more pain.

 ** _"Without you, I feel broke, like I'm half of a whole. Without you, I've got no hand to hold. Without you, I feel torn. Like a sail in a storm. Without you, I'm just a sad song."_**

"For me its enough." she cursed quietly, teary-eyed when she saw Roland looking at her before entering the portal. She turned her back on everyone and she would walk away from there as soon as possible.

But a voice, so sweet that lulled the dark heart of the mayor, was loud in her ears.

"Momma!" Roland released his hands from Little John and left, like a shot, towards Regina.

The brunette turned at once, with a frightened expression and bent down when she felt Roland jumping on her lap, locking his legs around her waist and crying desperately.

"Roland..." she put her hand in his head and squeezed him hard. You have to go, my love, you have to go..." she tears running down her cheeks.

 _"Use mine for both of us..." Robin said after questioning what it was like to be without a heart._

Maybe, in the moment, hugging the son of her true love, she wanted to say that being without a heart was the best option. Now it was that was going to have to use her so broken heart for both of them, endure a love that pumped on her chest and the love of the one who sacrificed himself for her. Hold out for three, when a part of Robin still lived in each of Roland's trait.

 _Regina, I choose you._

The mayor embraced Robin's world in her hands and rocked his body from one side to the other. For the first time, in years, someone had actually chosen her. And, now, she saw the need to choose him, but she couldn't. Thinking of Robin was thinking of the strength she had in her hands, the power that ran in her veins and the will to use it on who dared to cross her path. Funny, she told Robin "Don't get in my way", and he replied "I wouldn't dream of it."

"Stubborn." Regina said softly to Roland. "Just like your father." she hid on Roland's little face.

 _"Regina, you're my future."_

Ironic, when. now, her future would be him. In every breath, every blink of an eye... Robin Hood. A future that she was trying to control to not have lines from her past, a future that she was trying to be steady on love and hope as much as she felt when she was beside the man she loved.

She squinted and remembered of Roland running towards his father, being thrown up in the air and falling into a hug so comfortable of the thief; remembered of that stupid feeling of fear. fear of loving Robin, fear of losing and falling into bankruptcy. Again. Should she have listened to the part of her soul that warned her?

"You deserve more, Roland." she whispered to the boy and looked into his eyes. "You deserve much more than me. I could never be a mother as good for you as Robin was father and mother." she cleaned the boy's face.

"Momma, I'm afraid." whimpered into sobs.

"Remember: I'm with you, and I'll be with you... Always, my little thief." Regina smiled through her tears and kissed his forehead. "Always..." whispered as a prayer for Robin to hear. A love that would last forever.

Regina handed him quickly to Little John whose smiled at the brunette, the boy struggled, stretching his arms in an attempt to still have chances of Regina choosing him. But, as soon as Roland passed through the portal, the brunette felt a deafening pain in her chest, as if she had lost everything, as if now, really, her end had come.

"Regina!" Snow approached her and the eyes, dipped in tears, faced her.

"Tell me he'll be fine." she took a hand to her chest and lowered her head. "Roland..." She started to cry and she took a few steps back, away from everyone. "Sorry Robin..." she disappeared with her magic.

 ** _You're the perfect melody. The only harmony I wanna hear. You're my favorite part of me._**


End file.
